What do you think of my writing?

The language and writing is so simple, I want to tell you to change it, but I know it's for a children's story. So it all works out okay. I'm just not used to a children's story. XD I like the idea of it. It does look interesting. The fact that the weather changes with her moods. I'm curious to see where this is going to go. And I would read this to my cousin as well. I think she'll enjoy it. ^_^ The only thing that I would be nit-picky about here is the 5 should be written out as five. :\ Other than that, very nice. :D